Nutmeg By Kaanakan
By: Jose; Toronto, Ontario, Canada
At 15
I asked
The adults
Around me
Why were there
So many versions
Of the Bible?
They answered
My version is
Ordained by God
All others
Are false!
He said this
About the NIV
She said this
About the KJV
He said this
About the NWT
At 11
My kaanakan
Asked me
Uncle Joey
Why is it called
The Sun?
As he plays
Soccer
With his brother
Chest tightening
A solid structure
About to dissolve
I cursed to myself
Okis ti saba,
Tila madamdamag mo!*
Briefly, I observe
My kaanakans
Kicking their soccer ball
Around our living room
The older one
Darting
From side to side
Blocking
The younger one’s
Shots
On goal
Then, the ball
Slips through
The older one’s legs
Score!
The young one shrieked
With delight
Why is it called
The Sun?
Taking out my phone,
I answer him
I don’t know, buddy
Can we find out together?
Sure, he said
Kicking
The ball
To me
And so
At 15
Going on 45
Young Joey,
Still as whole
As he ever was
Finally
Gets to play
* "Okis ti saba" is a common play on an Ilocano curse. "Okis ti saba" literally means "banana peel" but it is like saying "fudge" instead of the f word. "Tila madamdamag mo" literally means "You ask all kinds of questions."
Jose is a queer Ilocano, born in Baguio City and grew up in the beaches of La Union province. Aside from working in finance, he also writes in Medium, exploring his 20-year sobriety journey from crystal meth addiction. He holds an MBA and lives in Toronto with his loving husband and big, multi-generational family.
Artist Links:
Medium: https://medium.com/@josecacholim
Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/octobrequinze/
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