Sapin Sapin - Layers of Comfort and Sense of Home
By: Bel; Macau, S.A.R.
Hey there,
A fellow Filipina here, born and raised in Macau, a special region in SouthEast China and neighboring sister of Hong Kong.
If you’re a third culture kid too and reading this,
I feel ya.
Being born from a Filipino immigrant family, or to anyone who relates as “TCKs”, we can sometimes feel disregarded, secluded and lost from having—what they call—identity crisis.
Not just by looks, but by language and culture.
But when it comes to food, it feels like it doesn’t have to be that way.
It has definitely helped me feel more connected to my roots and well, home.
How it can comfort our souls and inner child when life feels rocky.
For me, the warmth of that comfort comes from my childhood favorite Filipino snack: Sapin Sapin. From an old Tagalog (Filipino) word, Sapin means “layers”. You will see this beloved kakanin (rice cake) in special occasions & fiestas (celebrations). They can also look like they are blankets of Philippines’ distinctive flavours.
Versions of it differ from region to region in The Philippines, province to province, and, of course, family to family. My family’s version usually consists of three colors (white, yellow and purple).
Here’s how Sapin Sapin and those three special multilayered colors reflected my life growing up as a Filipino in Macau.
Sapin Sapin Layer 1: Macapuno (coconut) | Blanks of White
But first, a little rewind back to when my parents moved to Macau from the Philippines in the late 80’s to seek a better life. Then, I was born here in the 90’s.
As a child, I’ve always struggled with speaking and expressing myself. I’d get scolded if I did and would be called “maarte” (dramatic). I was also a shy kid, and so writing helped me to find my own “voice”. I also had an unhealthy relationship with food. Junk food to be exact. Munching on our classic Clover, Nova, and Tomi chips, and sipping on sugary Zesto, I wasn’t aware of how much it was affecting my body at a young age.
At the age of 11, I started becoming health conscious. I became very insecure and wanted to be petite to fit in with the other Asian girls. Picture this: I was taller and “bigger” than the other girls in my class. I wasn’t your average “Asian/Filipino girl” size—somehow in my genes I was just not. I was unconfident and embarrassed of my body. I decided I wanted to lose weight. But how? When Filipino food and snacks are just so addictive.
I felt like a macapuno, a different type of coconut compared to ordinary coconuts. If you've ever come across a macapuno, it’s an alienated/mutant coconut, also known as “freak coconut” with its flesh like jelly with little to no coconut water inside.
Maybe I felt a bit alienated like its flesh? Maybe I was feeling a bit out of place. But I knew I had to do something about my poor habits as they were hanging by a thread. Hanging by white macapuno strings. Hanging by blanks of white.
Sapin Sapin Layer 2: Langka (jackfruit) | Sweet Chunks of Yellow
Fast forward to my high school and uni days, I discovered healthy eating and lifestyle just when the internet started blowing up from YouTube in the early 2000’s. I tried and tested simple healthy recipes and was hooked since then. I was obsessed with discovering and learning health benefits and trying new ingredients and that’s when I came across a special fruit: langka (jackfruit).
Langka has a subtle sweet taste—imagine the combination of a banana, apple, and mango. It’s just the perfect definition of a tropical fruit. And here’s a random fun fact for you: Did you know you can also eat its seed? As a Filipino, my mum would always teach me that nothing goes to waste. So I was very surprised when she told me that you are able to eat them! So the next time you have “langka”, save the seeds and give them a boil until they’re fork-pierced soft. They taste like a marriage between sweet potatoes and chestnuts. Pretty crazy! They are also high in protein, rich in fiber, and give an iron boost for your body.
Anyway, another thing about jackfruit is how versatile it can be. It can be enjoyed either the healthy way or the sneaky way. For example, it can be hidden in some of my other favorite Filipino desserts that my inner child craves and screams for: Turon (caramelized banana fried rolls), Halo Halo (“Mix Mix” shaved ice dessert), Ginataang Bilo bilo (coconut dessert soup with glutinous balls).
So even when I had changed my eating habits and lifestyle, it was difficult to give up some of these delicacies. The Sapin layer of langka has taught me how to still enjoy the sweet things in life without being too harsh about my diet, as long as they are taken in moderation. It is a reminder to keep the balance of the sweet chunks in life.
Sapin Sapin Layer 3: Ube (Filipino yam) | Boldness of Purple
But even so, I still found it quite challenging to maintain the healthy lifestyle that I wanted to sustain without falling into the trap of over indulging in desserts. I found our Filipino food culture meat-heavy, with a lot of rice and sugar. It all hit when I found out my line of family had suffered from cancer and diabetes, and when my mum recently has diabetes, too. She would also tell me stories that her grandfather needed to have his ankle amputated! I wanted to break that chain. Eventually, over the years, I’ve learned how to substitute certain ingredients to enjoy more guilt-free desserts. I took the bold step of veganizing recipes. I started re-creating Mango Float with cashew-based cream instead of heavy cream, Ensaymada bread rolls with vegan buttercream, Pandesal with my very own vegan bread dough recipe and so much more!
Although some people would say it’s odd or rare to find a Filipino veganizing recipes, I knew it was more than changing my poor eating habits. I had a deeper purpose to teach alternatives to inspire a healthier lifestyle to avoid diabetes, without dishonoring our amazing food culture and history.
This is the ube layer of Sapin Sapin. Ube reminds me of the resilience of the tuber root itself. It grows its steady roots in the dark underground, yet grows a vibrant and rich color. The deep purple symbolizes adaptability, strength and celebration in my eyes.
To my surprise, Sapin Sapin is naturally vegan. I love how it is more than just a sticky rice dessert. Each layer reminds me of persevering through challenges (blanks of white), discovering my true self (chunks of yellow), while embracing my own cultural identity (boldness of purple). Each layer sticks together to make life colorful.
This is to my inner child that’s been seeking a bite of comfort, belongingness and change.
And to your own layers of comfort and sense of home, your Sapin Sapin.
Bel is a writer currently based in Macau. Her inspiration for writing is based on life lessons and values as a vegan baker, her entrepreneurship venture and travels. She is also on the journey of veganizing Filipino bakes and travel inspired recipes.
Artist Links:
Instagram: @belbrosasfaustino
YouTube/ Pinterest: Not Your Perfect Vegan
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